We Hire on Resumes, We Retain Through Relationships: Becoming an "Employer of Choice" on a Limited Budget

Last week, I found myself seated alongside a panel of practitioners, HR directors, doctors, and decision-makers. The workshop: Becoming an Employer of Choice on a Limited Budget. A catchy, if daunting, title—especially when you're expected to distill a decade-plus of leadership and workplace culture work into a brief 8-minute opening.

The moderator looked down the row and casually announced, “I’m going to give each panelist 8 to 12 minutes to say what they’re all about.”

This wasn’t your typical 90-second intro and then a friendly Q&A volley. No, this was a moment to take the mic and show the room what really matters. I hadn’t joined the pre-panel planning call due to a schedule conflict, so as the others began, I scribbled on my notepad: If I had just 8 minutes to help employers reimagine what’s possible in the workplace—especially when budgets are tight—what would I say?

Here’s what I wrote and said to the audience (pictured: my actual scribbles on the topic):

Gallup reported in 2024 that only 21% of workers are engaged at work. Flip it, and it means nearly 80% of the workforce is disengaged. And while headlines talk about labor shortages and generational divides, I believe the core question remains the same: How do we motivate, engage, and retain people when we can’t throw money at the problem?

I started in this work in the wake of the 2008–09 Great Recession, and the question back then was nearly identical to what we’re asking now. Recessions, pandemics, inflationary cycles—those are symptoms. The root is about leadership. It's about relationships. It’s about trust.

Here’s how most careers begin: we’re hired to make the widget. Whatever your industry—healthcare, construction, education, consulting—there’s a widget. You get good at it. Really good. So good that someone says, “Hey, you should be in charge.”

And now, instead of making widgets, you’re managing people. Training them. Motivating them. Leading them. The problem? Most of us were trained to make the widget—not grow the people. 

So what makes a workplace (and people) work?

1. Trust Is the Currency of Retention: We don’t just hire on resumes—we retain through relationships. And relationships are built on trust. Not the glossy, corporate kind of trust, but the daily, quiet kind. The kind that shows up in one meaningful check-in a week, in vulnerability, in modeling consistency and care. Stephen Covey reminds us that trust is foundational for retention and performance and is a balance of character (one’s morals, values, commitment and beliefs) and competency (one’s skills at the task, the process and the relationships). 

2. Understand What Actually Motivates People (Hint: It’s Not Free Pizza): Frederick Herzberg taught us this back in 1959—get the hygiene factors right (pay, tools, systems), but don’t stop there. Real motivation comes from intrinsic factors:

• Competency – Am I good at what I do?

• Autonomy – Do I have room to make decisions?

• Meaningfulness – Does this work matter? Do I matter?

• Progress – Am I growing?

Read more about this concept here.

3. Greenthumb Leadership > Micromanagement: Managers aren’t mechanics. They’re gardeners. We don’t force growth—we create the conditions for it. From seedling to adolescent to disgruntled to mature, our employees need different types of support. Flex your leadership style to fit the developmental stage, not the other way around. Read more about this concept here.

And stop thinking career ladders. Start thinking lattices—a structure that allows people to grow in all directions: across teams, into committees, toward life goals. Want retention? Make space for sprawling, multidimensional life and career goals. Work/life integration. Read more about this concept here.

4. Use the Deep Ocean Model to Navigate Behaviors and Beliefs: Behavior is just the tip of the iceberg. Below it is Belief. That chronically late employee might not be lazy—they might believe punctuality isn’t valued or won’t be rewarded. Want lasting change? Start belief-behavior conversations. Otherwise, you’re solving the wrong problem. Read more about this concept here.

Let’s make this practical. You don’t need more policies. You need more conversations. Here’s what to take away:

• Strategic Conversations – Weekly, candid, authentic and consistent.

• Personalized Growth Plans – Based on who and where your people are, not just what they do.

• Cultural & Community Alignment – Align your mission, vision, and values with daily behaviors.

• Flexible & Adaptive Leadership – Think: freedom within a framework.

If you’re a solo HR leader, or the only one at your company who gets this—don’t wait for permission. Start with data. Do a workplace community audit. Use surveys. Hold roundtables. Get feedback. Turn a hunch into a blueprint that leadership can get on board with. We can help you build your “case for change” here.

The message I returned to again and again during the panel—at least half a dozen times—was this: We hire on resumes, but we retain through relationships. Engagement doesn’t happen through policies alone; it’s built through bonds. By having real conversations, addressing behaviors and the beliefs behind them, and showing up consistently for our people, we create the kind of workplace where talent stays, grows, and thrives. And the best part? It barely costs us a thing—just time, patience, insight, and the willingness to lead with intention, empathy and heart.

P.S. At the end of the panel, I brought along physical copies of our e-book, Revitalize and Retain Staff: Strategies for Boosting Employee Resilience and Engagement. It’s a comprehensive, practical guide packed with actionable tools (some mentioned above) to help you build a more resilient, engaged, and purpose-driven workforce. If you didn’t grab a copy—or if you’re just discovering this now—you can download the e-book here and start putting these strategies to work in your own organization.