Leading in a Loud World
HB Weekly Leadership Brief
Week of February 9, 2026
A week or so ago, my wife sent me an Instagram clip featuring Sharon McMahon, #1 New York Times bestselling author, civics educator, and creator of The Preamble newsletter, in conversation with Dylan Michael White of @dadchats. The clip is embedded here.
Dylan is naming something many of us feel: “I already know I’m not the dad I need to be right now.” He talks about how impossible it feels to separate what’s happening in his professional life — and in the world — from what he brings home. Sharon’s response reframes everything. She gently pushes back and says, in essence: you are exactly the dad your kids need in this moment. Someday, they’ll look back and see that you were doing work that mattered, in a moment that mattered. That lesson — about purpose, courage, and responsibility — may matter far more than being home at 6:00 to clean up toys.
As parents, coaches, friends, neighbors, and leaders, I think many of us are carrying a similar quiet belief: I’m not doing enough right now. We’re not present enough. Not mindful enough. Not showing up the way we think we should. And what we’re missing is context.
We are living in what I’d call a “Background Tension” era.
Post-pandemic residue. Constant headlines. Family strain. Workforce uncertainty. Economic anxiety. Global crisis and polarization in the extreme. Even when nobody is talking about it out loud, it’s shaping patience, attention, conflict, and decision-making everywhere we lead. Cortisol is high. Bandwidth is low. And pretending otherwise doesn’t help anyone.
Here’s the leadership reframe that matters right now:
A) The world is more chaotic than it has been in a while. Naming that — without turning the workplace or the dinner table into a debate stage — is not weakness. It’s clarity. Leaders who acknowledge reality create space, normalize stress signals, and re-anchor people to what is within reach: clear expectations, consistent routines, kindness paired with standards.
B) Showing up on time, ready to go, to the full capacity you do have still matters. As Sharon reminds us, parents and leaders who are doing the work to keep their families safe, their organizations steady, and their people emotionally regulated are doing what needs to be done. Protection, steadiness, and values-based presence are not lesser forms of leadership — they are the work.
This week isn’t about doing everything. It’s about doing the right things, honestly, in a loud moment — and recognizing the privilege it is to be trusted with that role.
“If you can name it, you can tame it.”
- Dan Siegel
“Leadership is the capacity to hold people in the midst of uncertainty.”
- Margaret Wheatley
By The Numbers
The American Psychological Association in their Stress in America (2023–2024) report, showed that 49% of U.S. adults report that stress has negatively affected their behavior (including irritability, fatigue, and withdrawal) and more than 1 in 3 workers say their stress has increased significantly in the past five years, driven by uncertainty, economic pressure, and social instability.
60% of employees say personal stress significantly affects their ability to focus at work states the American Institute of Stress
Harvard Business Review reports over 50% report bringing emotional strain from home into the workplace on a regular basis.
In Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace, 70% of the variance in employee engagement is attributable to the manager, while employees with ineffective or inconsistent managers report significantly higher stress, anxiety, and burnout, regardless of job type.
Quick Consult with Matt (Updated)
One of the most practical leadership moments in that clip is deceptively simple. Dylan talks about telling his kids: “Mom and dad are really stressed right now — and our stress isn’t coming from you.” That’s not oversharing. That’s protective leadership.
In my work with leaders, I see two patterns when stress is high:
Stress leaks → tone sharpens, patience thins, clarity disappears.
Stress gets translated → reality is named, responsibility is contained, trust stays intact.
Great leaders don’t dump the weight of the world on their people, but they also don’t pretend the weight isn’t there. They translate.
Here’s what that looks like at work:
“This is a heavy week. If I seem tight, that’s on me, not you.”
“There’s uncertainty outside these walls. Inside, here’s what we’re focused on.”
“If something feels unclear, ask. I’d rather clarify than create noise.”
That kind of language does three things at once:
It acknowledges reality.
It protects psychological safety.
It models emotional regulation in real time.
Leadership in this season isn’t about being endlessly calm or perfectly present. It’s about being steady, honest, and anchored - especially when the background tension is loud. If you can do that, for your family or your team, you are showing up exactly as you need to right now.
Weekly Reflection: 10 minutes
Set aside 10–20 quiet minutes this week and journal on the following:
Where am I currently leaking stress — and who is paying for it unintentionally?
What’s one sentence I can use this week to translate reality without transferring weight?
If someone I lead looked back on this season in five years, what do I hope they’d say I modeled about purpose, steadiness, and care?
Direct Application: 3 things to do this week
Make one “trust deposit” conversation (15 minutes).
Ask: “How are you doing—really?” Then listen long enough to hear the second answer.Use the “stress isn’t coming from you” line — once, clearly.
With a direct report, your spouse/partner, or your team: name the weather, don’t pretend it’s sunny.Create one small “progress win” by Wednesday.
Pick a finishable task that creates visible momentum. Progress regulates people, especially when the world feels chaotic.
This Week’s Model: Leading Through the Noise - The 3 Rs
Regulate → Relate → Reason
In moments like this, when stress is high, emotions are close to the surface, and people feel stretched, it’s tempting to jump straight to logic, solutions, or direction. But as we explore work on conflict and resolution, leaders don’t earn the right to reason until they’ve helped people regulate and relate first.
In a world full of competing narratives, constant alerts, and emotional whiplash, effective leadership isn’t about having the best answers first. It’s about setting the conditions for people to think, connect, and move forward together. The 3 Rs offer a simple, human sequence for doing exactly that.
1) Regulate: Set the emotional temperature before setting direction
Before you try to fix, persuade, or decide anything, slow the nervous system - yours first, then the room’s. This is where “name it to tame it” lives.
Regulation is about helping people move out of reactivity and back into steadiness.
What this looks like in practice:
Name the moment: “There’s a lot coming at us right now.” Naming reality reduces anxiety.
Pause intentionally: Take a breath, create space, and resist the urge to rush clarity.
Use movement and reset cues: A short walk, a break between meetings, or simply standing up can help discharge stress.
Prepare before pressure: Enter high-stakes conversations already grounded, knowing others may be dysregulated too.
If people are emotionally flooded, logic won’t land. Regulation is not avoidance; it’s leadership discipline.
2) Relate: Rebuild connection before asking for commitment
Once things have slowed down, the next task is connection. People don’t need agreement yet; they need to feel seen, heard, and safe enough to stay engaged.
Relating is about restoring trust and shared humanity in the middle of complexity.
What this looks like:
Listen to understand, not to respond.
Acknowledge experience: “I can see why this feels heavy right now.”
Reinforce shared purpose: “We all care about getting this right.”
Lead with presence: Eye contact, open posture, and undivided attention matter more than perfect words.
In noisy times, relationships are the bridge between emotion and action.
3) Reason: Bring clarity, structure, and direction—now it will stick
Only after regulation and relating are established does reasoning actually work. This is where leaders often want to start—but it’s most effective when it comes last.
Reason is about creating forward motion without triggering defensiveness.
What this looks like:
Clarify priorities: What matters most right now, and what doesn’t.
Invite thinking, not compliance: “What options do we see?”
Communicate cleanly and respectfully: Say what needs to be said, without excess.
Set healthy boundaries: Time, scope, and expectations create safety, not rigidity.
Reason without regulation feels cold. Reason without relationship feels threatening. But when the first two Rs are present, clarity becomes calming instead of controlling.
The 3 Rs aren’t just for moments of open conflict; they’re a daily leadership practice in a loud, polarized world. Leaders who master this sequence don’t eliminate noise, but they prevent it from hijacking judgment, culture, and trust.
When in doubt this week, ask yourself:
What does this moment need first—regulation, relationship, or reasoning?
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